A rule I typically try to abide by when assigning movies these abject star ratings is how much any given movie accomplishes what it initially sets out to accomplish and how well it accomplishes that objective. With director Jon Turteltaub's (
Cool Runnings,
While You Were Sleeping, the
National Treasure movies)
The Meg it is especially important to remember this rule as I will be assigning
The Meg the same star rating as I did this year's Best Picture winner at the Oscars, Guillermo del Toro's
The Shape of Water, but do I think
The Meg-a movie about a prehistoric shark emerging from extinction to engage with Jason Statham in a rage-fueled brawl-is as good a movie as the one about the woman who falls in love with the fish creature she discovers at the top secret government facility where she works? Well, kind of-yeah. For very different reasons, of course, but given what
The Meg knows it is and sets out to be and what
The Shape of Water knows it wants to be and attempts to execute I'd say both films find just about the same amount of success in achieving those original intentions. Per
The Meg, the rather exceptional marketing ("opening wide" and "pleased to eat you" are just classic) is something of a misrepresentation, but only slightly as the film is still very much aware it is a silly shark movie even if it ultimately holds itself to a higher standard than that of your typical B-movie fare while certainly taking itself more seriously than the
Sharknado movies (of which I haven't seen a single one). Could
The Meg have been a little more campy and, in turn, a little more fun with an uptick in the level of self-awareness? Absolutely, but is there enough fun mined from the outrageous premise to leave audiences happy with what they received versus what the marketing led them to expect? It seems this will largely be the deciding factor in how much enjoyment each individual party will take away from the flick, but for this viewer in particular (as well as my wife and countless others who attended our rather crowded 9:15 pm opening night IMAX showing)
The Meg balances itself well between allowing Statham to do his bit while giving the supporting players enough to do so as to endear us to the characters and their plight and playing up the corny elements to the point it's impossible to take anything
The Meg does too seriously which only makes Statham's stern turn as Jonas all the more hilarious.
The Meg is most certainly dumb and it knows it, but it never shows that full hand and one kind of has to respect the movie for that; the story is ludicrous and it knows you know that, but it kind of hopes you take the action beats seriously and by executing them in such a manner we're both in on the joke of and thrilled at the titular monster whenever they decide to show up. What more does one want from a movie about a prehistoric shark emerging from extinction to engage with Jason Statham in a rage-fueled brawl? Exactly. Nothing. Full review
here.
B-
*Methodically touches thumbs to key points on fingers and palms*
Yeah,
Mile 22 was totally the worst movie of the summer.
C-
Alpha is like one of those National Geographic or Planet Earth specials that makes our planet look as uninhabited as it was 20,000 years ago, but without the talking heads telling us what insight we're supposed to be garnering from such images. This would be a fine enough concept except the images and story we are provided don't really provide much substance either. That and this still feels like a TV special on a budget.
Not actively bad and sometimes fascinatingly experimental-especially in its use of imagery-the film just kind of exists to look pretty while having nothing to say. Like, remember that
10,000 BC movie from a decade ago? No? You'll get this confused with that one when you try to remember it in a matter of two years.
C
Juliet, Naked is the story of Rose Byrne's Annie (the long-suffering girlfriend of Duncan (Chris O'Dowd)) and her unlikely transatlantic romance with once revered, now faded, singer-songwriter, Tucker Crowe (Ethan Hawke), who also happens to be the subject of Duncan's musical obsession.
Hey! Look! It's the animated short that stretched your theatrical viewing of
Coco to nearly two and a half hours that you took your three-year-old to!
Olaf's Frozen Adventure is now available to own on home video, so you can watch the twenty-minute short at a time of your own choosing.
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