PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES Review

The public consensus seemed to very clearly be that there was no need for yet another Pirates of the Caribbean movie especially when considering the bad taste left by the last installment, 2011's On Stranger Tides. There was no need to roll out Johnny Depp's most iconic character only for the purposes of likely tarnishing the legacy of Captain Jack Sparrow further. Of course, considering the fact On Stranger Tides still made over a billion dollars worldwide despite the lukewarm audience reaction and even worse critical reception it was almost guaranteed we'd be getting another pirate adventure at some point. Well, that day has finally come and the question this fifth installment in the franchise was going to need to answer first and foremost was that of, "Is this necessary?" It seems screenwriter Jeff Nathanson (Catch Me If You Can) understood as much and thus kicks off his attempt at a Pirates movie by re-introducing us to Henry Turner, son of William (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Turner (Kiera Knightley), as he vows to his father to figure out a way to free him from the confines of The Flying Dutchmen; a ship that carries souls to the other side and only allows its captain and crew to set foot on land for one day every decade. It seemed the fates of William and Elizabeth were sealed given that post-credit stinger in At World's End, but with great power comes great responsibility and Nathanson clearly felt the importance of intertwining such fates as those of the Turner's with that of Captain Jack's. This certainly doesn't hurt and the script sets the main objective up clearly enough that we can get on board without much need for hesitation; this is especially true if you weren't a fan of the direction original screenwriters Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott took the first trilogy of films in as Dead Men Tell No Tales essentially undoes every complexity that original trilogy worked to accomplish. While that rubs me something like the wrong way given I have great admiration for what Gore Verbinski and his team accomplished the fact Dead Men Tell No Tales ends up being a rather enjoyable action romp makes me feel slightly better about Nathanson's change of course. And so, while Dead Men Tell No Tales certainly feels more significant to the overall legend of Captain Jack than the bland and generic previous film it is still unable to recapture the majesty of those first three adventures.

Full Trailer for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

As March now features as many blockbuster-type movies as the summer it is only fitting that we're now beginning to get full looks and extended trailers for some of the biggest summer 2017 films so as they might play in front of these March blockbusters. With Logan opening tonight and Beauty and the Beast in two weeks Disney is riding the good will of that Super Bowl ad and have released a full-length trailer for the fifth installment in their massive Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. While generally a fan of the original trilogy I can hardly remember much of anything about Rob Marshall's 2011 continuation On Stranger Tides. All of that said, this latest installment that is once again produced by Jerry Bruckheimer has courted directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg who are the duo behind the foreign adventure film Kon-Tiki from 2012 which was (not coincidentally) about a 1947 expedition by raft across the Pacific Ocean from South America to the Polynesian islands. Though the initial teaser wasn't much for conjuring up excitement, this new clip fully divulges the present situation of Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow and exactly why Javier Bardem's Captain Salazar is so hellbent to deliver death to Captain Jack by way of series newcomer Brenton Thwaites. While this will seemingly play as a revenge tale there is a lot to like in this trailer as, most importantly, it just feels like a lot of fun-which is what the original trilogy was drained of after the original. The special effects look downright amazing with young Johnny Depp deserving a second glance only because it was more convincing than initially imagined whereas another newcomer, played by Kaya Scodelario, certainly seems to be spicing things up. And while there is still no mention of Orlando Bloom or Kiera Knightley's involvement in the plot I like that they're saving a few surprises for if there is anything disheartening about this trailer it's that it shows too much. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales also stars David Wenham, Geoffrey Rush, and...Paul McCartney? This latest (last?) installment sails into theaters on May 26th, 2017.

Teaser Trailer for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

It's just as easy to tell the summer movie season is over by the rush of prestige pictures October begins to bring as it is by the appearance of teaser trailers for the next summer movie season. Still, besides some of the teases we received at Comic-Con this year we haven't really seen much of what we'll be getting at the cinema in the summer of 2017. That all changes as Disney has released a two and a half minute teaser for the fifth installment in their massive Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. While generally a fan of the original trilogy I can hardly remember much of anything about Rob Marshall's 2011 continuation On Stranger Tides. All of that said, this latest installment that is once again produced by Jerry Bruckheimer has courted directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg who are the duo behind the foreign adventure film Kon-Tiki from 2012 which was (not coincidentally) about a 1947 expedition by raft across the Pacific Ocean from South America to the Polynesian islands. Though this initial teaser doesn't give much by way of story and we don't see Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow except for on a Wanted poster we do get our first glimpse at Javier Bardem's Captain Salazar that is apparently out to deliver death to Depp's Captain Jack by way of Brenton Thwaites' Henry who is definitely not Sam Claflin's Philip from the previous film. And while little more of the story is known than what this teaser tells us the script comes from Jeff Nathanson who has penned movies ranging in quality from The Terminal and Tower Heist to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Rush Hour 3 so make of that what you will when considering what we could potentially be in store for here. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales also stars Orlando Bloom, Kaya Scodelario, David Wenham, Geoffrey Rush, and...Paul McCartney? Apparently we'll get Beatles over the Stones in this latest installment that arrives in theaters on May 26th, 2017.

GODS OF EGYPT Review

Gods of Egypt is one of those movies that is so bad that even the inherent campiness of it can't make things the slightest bit fun. At the very least, given the extravagance of the visuals and the outlandish reaches director Alex Proyas (I, Robot, Dark City) goes for here I expected the film to be a good ole' slice of pure entertainment value for the sake of nothing else, but even under these minimal expectations Gods of Egypt fails to be anything but conventional; which is saying a lot for a film that has gigantic flying beetles and Egyptian God transformers dismantling one another. There is seemingly no point to the construction of this universe as far as financial reward goes and the idea of whitewashing these ancient mythological idols is the least of the films problems. Sure, we have Gerard Butler, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, and Geoffrey Rush all doing variations on their European accents, but none are as distracting as the fully CGI backdrops that look as if they were "completed" in a rush two days before the film's release. Beyond all of the obvious complaints there are to make about this movie though, there was certainly some ambition behind the attempt as well. Unfortunately, these strides end up counting for very little. Still, there are risks taken in the way the Gods are portrayed as being larger and more looming than the mortals who worship them, there is an effort to take the historical context of the film and blend in elements of weird science fiction and fantasy, and the actual world building of this strange universe can be immersive, but more times than not these attempts fail to be what they should be and that is to be cool and appealing. Instead, the ugliness of the shiny yet granular images and the fight scenes that look as if they were ripped from a video game circa 2001 reek of a director out of touch and a storyteller too far removed from these adjectives that everything going on here feels as if it's trying too hard to please too broad an audience. Proyas has always been one to try something outside the box or at least be up for going after the unexpected, but with Gods of Egypt there is no amount of CGI that could cover up the scars it leaves.

Full Trailer for GODS OF EGYPT

While I was never excited for Alex Proyas' big popcorn flick that would take Geroge Lucas' approach to the Star Wars prequels and extend them to ancient Egypt, I didn't think it would look as bad as this trailer indicates. I've always enjoyed Proyas' films, no matter how goofy they've seemed to get over the years. Granted, I was too young to really appreciate either The Crow or Dark City on my first, but culturally late viewings and was more a fan of Will Smith than anything else which gave I. Robot a pass (I need to re-visit that flick). It was in 2009 with Knowing that I could see the potential for what Proyas was going for, but the casting of Nicolas Cage in the lead role seemed to stunt it's potential and need to be taken seriously. Almost seven years after the release of that film though, Proyas has returned to the big screen with an epic Hollywood production that will certainly encounter (if it's not already) many of the same issues that faced Ridley Scott's Exodus film in that he's cast mostly white actors in a film set in Africa. Whatever that might bring, the biggest fight the film will have to face is that of being an original blockbuster with no brand recognition or previous films to lend it any hype. The star power is minimal (unless you were really aching to see some form of Gerard Butler's Leonidas again), but the visuals seem to be the main selling point. I can't pretend I was impressed by the trailer as it looks like more of a video game than that Warcraft trailer, but also like that film the director intrigues me and so I'll stay tuned in to see how things turn out. Gods of Egypt stars Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Chadwick Boseman, Gerard Butler, Elodie Yung, Brenton Thwaites, Courtney Eaton, Abbey Lee, Rufus Sewell, Geoffrey Rush and opens on February 26, 2016.

MINIONS Review

Minions, while inherently funny is wholly insignificant and unnecessary. For parents, Minions will be ol' reliable, for children who enjoyed the Despicable Me films it will be what they've been waiting for, but in terms of the actual quality of the product it couldn't be more vanilla sans for the ridiculous amounts of innuendo and subtext these guys are able to get away with due to literally half of the dialogue in the film being unintelligible. At the very least, I guess this flick might open up the idea to children that watching foreign films can't be all that bad as with those you are at least given subtitles whereas with Minions one has to count on interpretation of tone and inflection to elicit the intended comedy. The thing is though, and this became apparent in the Despicable Me sequel, is that it seems the folks behind these colorful fun fests are forgetting the minions are not only inherently funny, but inherently sidekicks despite the fact this film, their own feature, is about them seeking out a boss to serve. If the minions only goal in life is to function purely as sidekicks it only seems fitting they would remain in that role in any movie they might appear in, but when a movie only happens because the first was a surprise hit and the multiple sequels and spin-offs are concocted more because the iron is hot rather than there being any actual ideas of value you're going to run into such dilemmas. When the small Illumination Entertainment company scored a $540 million hit with the original film and it's sequel notched nearly a billion worldwide three years later you better believe they were going to milk this now-franchise for all it's worth. The minions instantly became cultural mainstays and so I understand why a feature of their own was ultimately inevitable, but it doesn't mean it makes any more sense. Get what I'm saying? They are sidekicks, they are good in small portions, but a little bit of these little yellow creatures goes a long way and in giving them a feature length film things have simply gone overboard as the weight of an entire narrative on the back of a character created purely for comic relief is too much for them to carry.

THE BOOK THIEF Review

Not being familiar with the Markus Zusak novel from which this film was adapted I had no real knowledge of what I was getting into with The Book Thief. I'd avoided the trailer for the most part after hearing it was a horrible representation of the actual film and that it contained more than cheesy voiceover that made it feel like a trailer put together in the early 90's, but walking out of the film I still wasn't sure what to make of what I'd just witnessed. There is nothing that struck me in a way where I knew I would be thinking about the film for days afterward, but it became extremely clear over the course of the film that lead actress Sophie Nélisse was a true talent to watch and that if there was anything about this little film that might prove to be its mainstay it would be that it introduced the world to a great young actress that could very well go on to become exceptional. That isn't to say there is nothing else about the film that isn't interesting or worth talking about because in all actuality The Book Thief is a very solid picture, a kind of movie we don't get to see all that often these days because lines have been drawn in the sand that have categorized audiences to a point that telling the story of war, and specifically World War II Germany, from the perspective of a child would no doubt be looked at as something that doesn't fit squarely into any pre-determined demographic. Director Brian Percival (Downton Abbey) is lucky to have Zusak's 2006 book as a point of interest though as it has garnered interest in his vision of bringing the story of Liesel to the big screen and though it may not leave a huge cultural impact it is with ease that I say we are more fortunate than not having been given the opportunity to meet her. Nélisse's Liesel is our surrogate into late 1930's Germany up through to the end of the war and while the film doesn't tend to go with any of the typical trappings you might usually see coming from a film concerning Hitler and his minions what it does instead is give us pure insight into the day to day of what it was like to live during that time. In a constant state of fear, in worry of smiling too often or even stimulating ones mind by reading. While this all may sound like familiar ground and in some sense it is, The Book Thief is also a film that delivers a wonderful set of performances wrapped in a historical context that will do you no harm in coming to understand it a little better. That, and my wife absolutely loved it so take my words with a grain of salt as she's typically more in tune with what is genuine quality, if I do say so myself.